Old Men in Sweats! TM
By: Tommy T. & Barry D.
Volume 18
1.) PREDICTION TIME!
• Dallas VS Tampa Bay -7 OU 48
• Cowboys will not be shut out again this week
• In fact they’re going to score on their first
possession at AT&T
• But the Cowboys DEFENSE is slipping a little and
I see Jameis Winston (the crotch grabber) & Mike
Evans doing some serious damage downfield.
• Lots of long throws for the Bucs trying to keep the
game close.
• And lots of long completions.
• But a heavy dose of Ezekiel Elliott and another
close game gets the Cowboys in the playoffs.
• 27-26!
• Bucs miss game-winning FG at the final gun.
• Cowboys literally limp into the playoffs.
• Steelers @ NO Saints -6 OU 53
• Take the Steelers plus the points.
• They’re finally going to click on all cylinders
• Big Mouth Ben is talking less
• Small Mouth Antonio Brown is catching more
• And 3rd string RB Jaylen Samuels may be the best
of all the Steeler RBs.
• Plus the Saints are struggling on offense.
• Tom Brady is not the only 40 year old looking his
age.
• Near 40 year old Brees is looking every bit his age
too.
• Suddenly indecisive in the pocket
• With lots of underthrows.
• I think we’re seeing the last of the greatness from
Brees.
• Saints offense hasn’t been dominant since their
game 4 weeks ago against the Falcons.
• What’s happened to the Saints O?
• They struggled in a win against Falcons
• Dallas drubbed them
• Struggled again against a bad Bucs D
• Then looked awful last week against a reeling but
albeit desperate Carolina Panthers team.
• But Saints D is tough though…
• Eli Apple is really playing and so is Marshon
Lattimore.
• They can give Steelers WRs some trouble.
• So close lower scoring game.
• Steelers +6 & UNDER is the bet
• Chiefs @ Seattle +2 1/2 54 1/2
• No typo… Seattle is actually a 2 1/2 point dog at
home.
• I know… unheard of in the Carroll era.
• Seattle has one of the toughest home field
advantages in the NFL.
• And Pete Carroll will run and run and run the ball
all game long
• Cheifs D will be tested right before the playoffs.
• We’re going to see in this game how far the Chiefs
can go in the playoffs.
• Because my prediction is still the Chiefs vs
Steelers for the AFC Championship game at
Arrowhead.
• Yeah Yeah I know it’s not called that anymore but
this Old Man in Sweats is always going to call it
Arrowhead.
• So you can all go **** yourselves with your
sponsor naming rights.
• Real sportsfans hate the sponsor names.
• Arrowhead
• Candlestick (The Stick)
• The Vet in Philly
• Lambeau
• RFK in Washington
• The Orange Bowl in Miami where Dolphins used
to dominate.
• The Kingdome
• Hoosier Dome
• And my fav… The Meadowlands… where Hoffa
was buried.
2.) THE NFL TOILET BOWL GAME OF THE WEEK!
Falcons @ Carolina Panthers
• Falcons -3 OU 43 1/2
• How weird is this game?
• Falcons are 5-9 on the road and they’re still
favored by a FG in Carolina.
• Which means… how bad does Carolina have to be
right now?
• 6-2 at midseason
• Now 6-8
• Talk about the wheels coming off in a hurry
• OMG
• This is the wheels coming off
• The train off the rails
• The boat washed up on a reef
• And the car thrown in reverse
• If this isn’t an indictment on Cam Newton then I
don’t know what is
• Cam has to be the one responsible for this 6 game
losing streak.
• He has played horribly this season.
• Injured or not injured.
• Actually as fans we don’t really care if you’re
injured or not.
• If you’re playing you GOTTA PLAY
• Thats it!
• Especially the tool of the league.
• We don’t like Cam.
• Can’t really tell ya why we hate Cam more than
anybody else but the guy just gives me the creeps.
• The poorest leader I’ve seen in the NFL since Jay
Cutler.
• In fact, that’s who I compare Cam Newton to… Jay
Cutler AND Jeff George.
• There’s a nice troika of super talented QBs who
couldn’t think their way out of a paper bag.
3.) KIRK COUSINS!
• The Vikings are swirling the bowl and Kirk
Cousins is leading the way.
• 3 years 84 million and he gets the OC fired in 14
weeks.
• Wow! That didn’t take very long did it Kirk?
• There’s something about Kirk Cousins.
• I don’t know what it is…
• Maybe it’s the lack of the clutch gene that Dak
Prescott has.
• Or maybe he just fanagled the Franchise Tags
juuuuuust right and the planets aligned for him to
get the big contract.
• But Kirk Cousins is clearly not a top 10 QB.
• Clearly not in the Brees, Rodgers, Brady,
Roethlisberger, and now Mahomes category.
• Not even in the Rivers, Manning (when he was
younger), Stafford, Ryan, Luck, and Russ Wilson.
• The QBs are tiered folks.
• They come in levels.
• Most of the time very distinct and easy to read
levels.
• And I’m moving Cousins down to the 3rd tier.
• Behind all the aforementioned.
• Cousins just can’t get it done.
• With an excellent WR corps.
• Good TE
• He just can’t seem to make the big plays when the
Vikings need it the most.
4.) POOR BRANDON MARSHALL!
• 13 YEAR career
• over 900 receptions for 12,000 yards
• 83 TDs
• And zero ZERO playoff games in his career.
• He was locked & loaded and guaranteed a trip to
the playoffs for the first time in his career.
• After playing in:
• Denver… with Cutler
• Miami… with Chad Henne… yes Henne
• Chicago… with Cutler AGAIN!
• NY Jets… Fitz-tragic
• NY Giants… with Old Manning
• Finally he latched onto to a true legend
• Drew Brees.
• And he got cut.
• The New Orleans Saints cut Brandon Marshall
today.
• (Seinfeld) Saying…”No Playoffs for U!”
• I feel badly for Brandon Marshall.
• I don’t know the guy.
• But I know he’s overcome some personal
problems
• And he’s tried to help others who suffer with
various mental illnesses.
• And he has been open and transparent about his
demons.
• He’s going to be just fine.
• Probably showing up on the set of one of the
network shows as soon as THIS season.
•But we won’t see him in the playoffs.
5.) BASEBALL!
• Dodgers dump Yasiel Puig, Matt Kemp AGAIN, & Alex Wood for…
• Homer Bailey who was 1-14 last season and had a 6.25 ERA over his last
46 starts.
• Could the Dodgers have traded for a worse pitcher?
• 1-14????
• I had to look twice to make sure it wasn’t a typo.
• 1-14?
• 6.25 ERA over last 46 starts????
• My overall question is…
• HOW THE HELL IS HE GETTING 46 STARTS???!!!
• Dodgers have surplus of young outfielders with Joc Pederson, Alex
Toles, and Alex Verdugo as well as multi-positional Cody Bellinger.
• And clearly they are not going to start Homer 1-14 Bailey.
• If he even makes the team it’s going to be a one-inning guy in the
bullpen.
• 1-14
6.) THE WORST NBA FRANCHISE IN THE HISTORY OF THE NBA
IS?…
• THE LA CLIPPERS
• Now I’ve had a front row view of the Clippers for the last 30 years.
• I worked in their front office in the late 80s
• When they had young players Ken Norman, Charles Smith, and Pooh
Richardson.
• I’ve been to nearly 100 Clippers games over the last 10 years.
• Averaging about 10 a season.
• And I watched the big 3 of Chris Paul, Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan
make the playoffs every year for 5 years only to choke away every tough
series.
• Sporting a lifetime winning % of 40.3
• Made the Playoffs just 13 times since joining the league as the Buffalo
Braves in 1970.
• Didn’t win 50 games until 2012
• And lost 60 or more games 11 times.
• Horrible awful loser franchise.
• Of course they have ZERO jerseys hanging in the Staple Center rafters.
• ZERO
• ZERO JERSEYS IN THE RAFTERS
• And who does Doc Rivers want to be the first?
• This is the perfect choice for the 1st Clippers jersey in the rafters of their
stadium.
• When I see this guy’s jersey in the rafters I think Clippers.
• Who does Doc Rivers want as the 1st Clippers jersey?
• DeAndre Jordan
• I watched DeAndre Jordan for 10 years in LA and he is terrible.
• Never averaged over 12 points a game.
• Never reached even the western conference finals.
• Can’t dribble..
• Can’t shoot…
• Worst foul shooter EVER
• All he can do is dunk and play some DEFENSE
• And his defense is HELLA overrated.
THAT IS WHY THE CLIPPERS ARE THE CLIPPERS AND THE
LAKERS WILL ALWAYS GET THE LEBRON JAMES AND KOBE
BRYANTS OF THE WORLD.
THINK ABOUT IT… WHEN IT’S ALL SAID AND DONE THE
LAKERS ARE GOING TO HAVE THE 5 OUT OF THE TOP 6
SCORERS IN NBA HISTORY.
• KAREEM
• KOBE ARE 1 & 2
• THE MAILMAN WAS A LAKER
• MJ NO
• LEBRON
• WILT
• DIRK NOWITZKI
7.) HEAD COACHING CAROUSEL IS BEGINNING TO SPIN!
• Broncos’ Coach Vance Joseph is gone.
• And guess who John Elway is eyeballing like a big fat turkey leg?
• Mike Shanahan
• Yup his old OC in the late 80s
• And his Super Bowl winning head coach in the late 90s is in the
conversation to return as Broncos’ coach.
• Elway is trying to bring back the old band.
• With him, Shanahan, and his former backup QB as a player and SB
winning coach Gary Kubiak in the front office with Elway.
• Ravens are bringing back John Harbaugh
• Just finishing his 11th season as HC
• SB winning coach Harbaugh will be back for the 2019 season
• And the Ravens say they are working on an extension beyond the ’19
season.
• You know why the Ravens are bringing back Harbaugh?
• Aside from his being an excellent coach
• A no-nonsense coach
• A defense-minded coach
• But the main reason they’re bringing back Harbaugh???
• Because Harbaugh will be employed for all of 10 seconds.
• That’s how long it would take any number of 10-15 teams to scoop up
Harbaugh.
• Broncos in a second
• Cardinals in 2 seconds.
• Jets in 3
• Even the Cowboys would grab Harbaugh in the 10 second timeframe.
• Bucs
• Panthers
• Redskins (stays in the same neighborhood)
• Bengals
• Browns
• Packers
• Jaguars
• And Dolphins
• That’s 12 teams that would realistically re-shape their entire coaching
staff just to have the presence of square-jawed, steaming mad John
Harbaugh take over the reins of their franchise.
• The Ravens have been lucky as sin to have him there for a decade.
8.) LEVEON BELL REPORTEDLY EYEING THE COLTS AS HIS NEXT TEAM!
• Not going to happen
• Oh the Colts have an owner dumb enough and wacky enough to overpay
for Bell but the rational minds in the room will talk him out of it.
• First of all, the Colts don’t need Bell
• They’re loaded in the RB room.
• Marlon Mack 4.8 yards a carry 8 TDs in 10 games. Mack is tough!
• Plus rookies Jordan Wilkins and scatback Nyheim Hines form a talented
RB trio
• Colts have nearly $124 million cap space for next season.
• Imagine what they could do with that money if they use it on players they
actually need.
• Like another top WR
• Another OL
• And more defensive help.
• Like Earl Thomas
• Landon Collins
• Jadaveon Clowney
The Colts could be the early Super Bowl favorites for next season.
• Hell, there’s nothing to say they can’t run the table in the playoffs this
season.
• If they make it…
• LeVeon wishes he had a horsheshoe on his helmet next sesason.
-OMIS
OMIS: “PREACHING SPORTS KNOWLEDGE FOR A LIFETIME!”